PhDribble

Debu-taunt Season

About this time every year, a whiff gathers across the ligdom.  What's that aroma, you ask.  So tantalizing, the antipicipation! The mysteries, the gossip.  Oh yes, those giggles!  Oh no, those sighs! That can only mean one thing...the NBA trade deadline is approaching! 

And it is this time of year when NBA swapologists across the blogdom don their prettiest gowns to tell us who they know and what they've heard.  Who has been ravishing and who will be ravaged.  They might have been wrong last year, but WHO CARES?!  It is fantasy.  It is illllusion. 

But fear not, search no further, for Henry Abbott is the Belle of the Ball.  Forget those other swapologists.  Next to Abbott, they're all 20-cent floozies.  When it comes to tradetalk this year, TrueHoop gets the prize. 

How to Solve a Problem Like Sharia

I have nothing.  But in this Age of New Witticism, not seen since the grossly indecent Victorian Britain, I couldn't resist the punny.  In other news, inspired by the Basketball Jones' classic new segment: "nba player run-in stories," I just got this email from a buddy of mine:

I had a good weekend, in nyc. saw the wutang clan and somehow met the RZA and lee ranaldo from sonic youth unrelatedly. it was really far out, actually.

I think I made lee ranaldos night in recognizing him (I said he was my fav sy songwriter), but the rza seemed a lot less enthused when my gf grabbed his arm after I initially recognized him. we didn't really get a chance to bro down, unfortunately, but if there was more time i am sure he would have been interested in a lot of what i had to say....

he was eating an african chewing stick,* which fela kuti once made a really big deal about, he was very tall, about 6'5, and he appeared stoned out of his gourd. i told him i was a big fan and I hoped that the wutang (who i had seen in concert the night before, where he did not appear) could work it out or whatever. then i rushed away because i was also late for my plane, and i didn't get to ask him the 8 million questions i had come up with for that one chance when you get to meet the leader of your favorite rap group.... fuck.

* "The Miswak is a natural toothbrush made from the twigs of the Salvadora persica. The Miswak is also referred to as Siwak, Neem, African Chewing Stick, and the non technical, ‘piece of wood.’"

"An important benefit to Muslims is also that the reward of prayer is multiplied 70 times if miswak is used before it. Although not mentioned in the Qur'an use of the miswak is frequently advocated in the Hadith...Supposed benefits not related to teeth and gum include sharpening memory, curing headaches, creating a lustre on the face of the one who continually uses it, strengthening the eyesight, assisting in digestion and clearing the voice."

In other tangential sportingnews from CNN, we finally can answer the question: How does Mary J get No More Drama?

"The Times Union of Albany cited unidentified law enforcement officials in reporting Sunday that R&B music star Mary J. Blige, rap musicians 50 Cent, Timbaland and Wyclef Jean, and award-winning author and producer Tyler Perry may have received or used performance-enhancing drugs." 

Where Beyonce Still Doesn't Know What's Going On Happens.

[Continued from Where Beyonce Doesn't Know What's Going On Happens.]

 

Where ebony & ivory Happens.

What is a True Center?

A nice debate has been rippling across the NBA blogosphere.  The debate started with Timmy's inclusion on the All-Star ballot as a center.  A bit of an uproar ensued (allegedly including from Mrs. Duncan) and Timmy's poll position was changed to forward.  A few opinions were posted on blogs.  A couple few weeks passed.  And then yesterdy, Hollinger helped transform the debate into the more interesting question: What is a True Center? 

Humor me as I take this a step further...to an even more central Lig dilemma: Are there 5 positions in the NBA?

The traditional answer would be "Yes."  Therefore, Isiah, Kidd, and Nash have played the same point guard position.  They have simply maximized their skills by playing it differently.  However, over the last two-or-so decades, this traditional argument has been challenged. What position did Worthy play?  How about Pippen?  And now Wade?  A new consensus view has formed.  This consensus has agreed on a basic 5 positions, but with an understanding of hybridity [e.g., Combo Guard (halfway b/n a sg and a pg) or Point Forward (halfway b/n a sf and a pg.)]

.

While this hybridity is a fair enough compromise, I want to pose an alternate solution: the evolutionary model.  There may used to have been more-or-less 5, but the game evolves, and so do positions.  Era-defining players carve out new roles and shatter traditional ones.  For example, Dr. J fit in no simple category.  Neither did Sir Charles.  Not even Vlade Divac.   

Here is my alternative position list with examples.   

True Center - Wilt, Jabbar, Hakeem, Shaq, Yao
Euro C - Vlade, Brad Miller, Memo
Duck C - Duckworth, Dampier, Haywood
Block Defender: Mutombo, Rodman, Body, Ratliff, Camby

Long Forward - McHale, Timmy, Sheed, KG, Bosh
Strong F - Charles, Karl, Oke, LJ, Artest, Booz
Point F - Pippen, GHill, Tayshaun
King F - Bernard, Bird, Dirk, Melo
Star F - Dr. J, Kobe, Lebron, Manu, Tough Juice
Shooting F - Drazen, Thunder Dan, Hedo, Mike Miller, Korver
Swing Man - Worthy, Reggie Lewis, Gay

Shooting Guard - Reggie Miller, Ray-Ray, Rip, Redd
Combo G - Wade, Gilbert, Roy
Kidd G - Jason, Chauncey, Baron, Tinsley, DWill
Point G - Stockton, Price, Nash
Zip G - Isiah, AI, Parker, CP3
Torture G - Bowen, Bell, Hunter

6th man - First player off bench [avg's less than 30 mpg!]
Microwave - Vinnie Johnson, Boykins, Terry, Flip Murray
12th man - Maddog, Jasikevicius

Primary Focus

Like many in the NBA blogmunity, I have been bitten by the campaignimania.  Alas, this is a bball blog, not a politico one, so I'll leave my analyses out of it.  But FreeDarko did a funny post comparing the Bulls and the Trail-Amazers to political candidates.

Here's my analogy. 

Democrats :: East
Obama : Boston
Hillary : Detroit

Republicans :: West (wide-open race)
McCain : Phoenix
Romney : Dallas
Huckabee : Golden State
Giuliani : Utah
Fred Thompson : Houston
Ron Paul : 'Sota
George W. (+ Rove) : San Antonio

[Seuss cartoons from UC-SD. ]

Clemens on 60 Minutes

Full Video Link.

.

.
Bonus - For those who are dying for more Sopranos (Alternative Ending?):

Full Video Link

SAS Makes More News

In the ESPN post-game studio show last night after the Pistons-Raptors game, Stephen A Smith went on a diatribe about how the Pistons' disappointing season last year was all due to Flip Saunders.  Smith went on to the effect that Detroit's starting five were begging Flip to play the bench more.  But Saunders refused because, in Smith's world, he is a stubborn SOB who likes to lose.

Now, I haven't been able to identify Smith's "insider sources," but they don't seem to live in this dimension...Honestly, I don't even have the energy to confute this. Here's an excerpt from a real journalist, A. Sherrod Blakely at MLive.com:

On Dec. 1 at Milwaukee, Hamilton was visibly upset at Saunders when after he turned the ball over twice in less than a minute, Saunders took him out of the game.

"It was very frustrating, because you want to be out there," Hamilton said. "You prepare yourself in the summertime to play as many minutes on the floor. But when you see what's going on and how much better we're able to get with other guys getting out on the floor, and how much better we're going to be at the end of the season ... Sometimes you gotta knuckle down and just say, 'cool,' and cheer on the young fellas from the bench."

Redefining Potential: The Dumars Doctrine

I have yet to meet the Lig die-hard who is not smitten by the muse Potential.  She's a dream and an ideologoy all at once. For my own public confession see: Confession. 

But Potential is getting old.  Plucked and attached from dandy to dandy, gratingly talked about but little discussed, Potential has become a titillating and tortured fascination.  I'm not sure that Potential can ever be tamed, but I could use a fresh dose of nuance to help define my muse. 

We usually associate Potential with young 7-footers, diaper dunkers, and other assorted adolescents.  But what separates the good teams from the great is their GMs' abilities to identify players with Mid-Career Upside (MCU).  Tonight's Pistons-Raps game was a perfect example of what I would call the Dumars Doctrine.*  From Chauncey to the Body, from Corliss to Mike James, and now to Jarvis Hayes, Dumars has made a second career out of identifying and acquiring players who excelled as veterans. 

[Now, to be specific, I wouldn't put Sheed in this group because although he has thrived in Detroit his play has been closer to career rebirth than mid-career development.  Some more in this group that could be easily mistaken for having high MCU are the crafty veterans like Horry, Finley, and Cassell.  Rip was definitely never an MCU guy; he was traded for Stackhouse.  And while Tayshaun and Maxiell were draft day sleepers (soon to add Stuckey and Afflalo to that group,) they bloomed into legitimate gamers by the end of their first two years in the Lig.]

MCU comes in a few different forms. Here's three major MCU classifications I see:

• The Euro: Part of what sometimes gets lost in the discussion of the euroinvasion is that many Euros (I'm including Argentinians) come into the Lig as veterans.  Too often they're associated with 20-year olds who haven't yet played the game at any professional level.  Whether drafted or signed, Euros with MCU enter the Lig as the equivalent to a second to fourth year pro. 

          Some examples: Manu, Jorge Garbajosa, Hermann, and the 
          12th-man legend  Jasikevicius 

• The Lame: Pretty self-explanatory.  Drafted high or low, these guys got injured early on and now have potential to become gamers.

          Some examples: Emeka Okafor, Shaun Livingston

• The Late Bloomer: Chauncey is the definition of a late bloomer.

          Some other examples: Tyson Chandler, Hedo, Andre Miller's
          gonna be the next star of this group as soon as he's traded

To be clear, I don't want to get rid of draft-day upsideology.  I want to differentiate between some of the guises of Potential.  And of course there are misses with mid-career development assessment.  The Lakers bet Kwame's MCU was worth Tough Juice.  Caught in the maddening gaze of Potential, they were sadly seduced.

_____________________________________________________________________
*Although for me, the storyline of the night was how solidly the Raptors played.  While it's been pretty much clarified in the last two weeks that--barring injury or scandal--the Celts and the Pistons are gonna meet in the ECF, the Raps demonstrated that they may be the leading contender for making a playoff run in the East and taking key steps toward contending status.

Trevor Ariza is a Dirty Dunker! - II

Amazing find.  I was looking for some more evidence for the thesis that "Trevor Ariza is a Dirty Dunker," and I found the smoking gun.

Evidence D: Ring Ding Dong.

Bonus - Independent varification in the comments section: silly130580 wrote "ariza is a dirty dunker he kick you first and then dunks it"